Surviving (and Thriving!) with Kids Who Could Be Each Other’s Parents: My Life with a 36, 20, 16, and 7-Year-Old 🐝😂

Ah, the joys of parenthood! When I became a mom for the first time 36 years ago, I never imagined that I’d be back in the thick of it, navigating kindergarten pick-up lines and teen drama simultaneously. But here I am, a proud mama to a 36-year-old who’s flown the nest and a still-at-home crew of a 20-year-old, a 16-year-old, and a 7-year-old. Talk about an age gap! But I’ve learned a few tricks to keep everyone close, despite the range from “please help me with my college application” to “please help me find my other shoe” chaos. Here are some of my tried-and-true tips for making it work:

1. Find Common Ground, Even If It’s Just Mocking Mom 🎤😆

Let’s be real: the quickest way to bond is to unite against a common cause—and sometimes, that cause is me. Nothing brings my 20, 16, and 7-year-old together faster than roasting Mom’s latest attempt at a TikTok dance or reminding me that I’m “literally ancient” when I don’t know the latest slang. (Seriously, what does “rizz” even mean?)

2. Turn Sibling Dynamics into a Reality TV Show 📺😂

Life with kids of all different ages is a bit like living in a reality show—complete with plot twists, dramatic confessions, and the occasional “who ate my leftovers?!” showdown. The key? Embrace it! When my 16-year-old rolls her eyes at her 7-year-old brother’s endless chatter about dinosaurs, I remind her she was exactly the same at his age… just replace dinosaurs with unicorns. Cue the eye-roll, but hey, at least everyone’s talking!

3. Leverage the Power of Bribery, I Mean, Rewards 🏆🍪

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that all my kids, regardless of age, are motivated by incentives. The 7-year-old can be convinced to pick up his toys if the 16-year-old gets in on the action, especially if there’s a trip to Starbucks in it for her. The 20-year-old? Well, he’s a bit trickier, but promises of homemade cookies have been known to work wonders.

4. Schedule Family Time, Whether They Like It or Not 🕺🍿

Yes, I know getting a 20-year-old, a 16-year-old, and a 7-year-old to agree on a movie is like trying to negotiate world peace. But family game nights or movie marathons are non-negotiable in my house. The trick is to rotate choices: tonight, it’s my 7-year-old’s pick (hello, Frozen… again), and next time, it’s a throwback to the 16-year-old’s emo phase (cue the Twilight marathon). As for me, I get to enjoy the priceless family bonding moments and, of course, the popcorn.

5. Celebrate the Chaos and the Wins, Big and Small 🎉🥳

In a house where the 20-year-old is celebrating college acceptance while the 7-year-old is mastering tying his shoes, there’s always something to celebrate. And honestly, sometimes just surviving the day deserves a party. Whether it’s a “Yay, we made it to Friday!” pizza night or “Congrats, you didn’t lose your backpack this week!” ice cream outing, we find joy in the little things.

6. Don’t Forget to Laugh… a Lot 🤣

Living with such a wide age range means I have built-in entertainment 24/7. The 7-year-old tells me knock-knock jokes that make zero sense but are somehow hilarious. The 16-year-old provides a daily dose of dramatic sighs and existential rants about the state of the world. And the 20-year-old? He just shakes his head and calls us all weird. And you know what? We are. But we’re weird together.

7. Let the Older Ones Teach the Younger Ones… and Vice Versa 📚🤯

Sometimes the 20-year-old helps the 7-year-old with his homework, and other times the 7-year-old teaches his big brother about the intricate social dynamics of first grade. It’s a give-and-take that keeps things fresh and shows that everyone, no matter their age, has something valuable to contribute. Plus, it gives me a chance to sip my coffee and pretend I have it all together.

8. Cherish the Moments When Everyone’s Getting Along 💕

Sure, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Some days, it feels like I’m juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle. But then there are moments—like when my 16-year-old helps her little brother build a Lego set, or when my 20-year-old takes them both out for ice cream—when I see the magic of these relationships unfold. Those are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Beautiful Madness 🐝💛

Having kids with such a wide range of ages is like running a circus, but it’s our circus. And despite the age differences, the bickering, and the chaos, there’s a whole lot of love here. Because at the end of the day, whether they’re 36 or 7, they’re all my babies. And no age gap will ever change that.

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